Some jokes are so dry that the Sahara feels like a swimming pool in comparison, and that's exactly what makes Dad joke so wonderful. They are delivered with confidence, often without the slightest wink, leaving behind a mixture of laughter, sighs and "no, not again...".
In this list we have collected 25 classic daddy jokes, so bad that they are brilliant. Perfect to pull at the breakfast table, in the car or any time you get the chance to be the funny (or embarrassing) one in the room.
25 dad jokes that will make you laugh (or sigh)
1. How do you know it was a carpenter? - It was seen onn.
2. Why do ducks swim in a straight line in Gothenburg harbour? - Anchoring prohibited.
3. "Tomorrow, keep your eyes open!" "Why?" - Otherwise you won't see anything!
4. Did you hear about the guy who went to prison for building a swimming pool? - He was arrested for possession.
5. Are you cold? - Then you can stand in the corner, where it is 90 degrees.
6. Why can't astronauts be put in prison? - Because they wear a space suit.
7. When do military personnel graduate? - Forward to March!
8. What do you call a McDonald's trainee? - A new burger.
9. Why are the police closing the investigation into the missing doormat? - They have nothing to go on.
10. What does the dentist do at lunchtime? - Jaws.
11. OK, I admit it. Maybe it wasn't my best idea to name the dog 'shark' and take him to the beach.
12. Why are aphids so small? - They have stayed in the plant.
13. Did you hear about the two antennas getting married? - The ceremony was not much, but the reception was incredible.
14. Which French building is always right? - No-field tower.
15. Don't overuse your mobile phone, you might get networked.
16. What do you call an alligator that ate a GPS? - Navigator.
17. Why are there bees in the speaker? - Because I wanted surround sound.
18. Which part of the body is the worst? - The neck part.
19. Why is gutting fish dangerous? - You can get lost in the mountains.
20. Why is the lemon yellow? "I don't know." - Neither does the lemon, that's why it's so sour!
21. Why is it so safe in Swedish forests? - Because if you get hungry, there is always the right of way.
22. I exercise almost every day. - Yesterday, for example, I was almost training.
23. Who should you hire if you want to freshen up your walls? - Take Peter.
24. Why did you become a surgeon? - Good average salary.
25. What is most important when buying football boots? - That they fit well!
Dad jokes may be simple - but that's what makes them timeless. They require no prior knowledge, no world-class timing and absolutely no filter. They live on because they are so... bad that they become good.
If you like this kind of humour, you might also like to read our list of funny jokes and puns for kids - full of laughter for the whole family!
