Separation anxiety in children and how you as a babysitter can deal with it
Have you ever experienced difficult and sad goodbyes when you are looking after a child and the parents have to leave the room? Find out more about separation anxiety in young children and how you can best deal with it together with the parents and the child!
Separation anxiety is an anxiety that is very common in small children, especially between 3 and 5 years old. It occurs when they are separated from a loved one orlearn to leave home and parents. In general expressionsit is in tears or outbursts.
Psychologist Monica Fahrman describes it in her book Children's Emotional Development as something that "is elicited because it involves the danger of being left alone without the possibility of coping".1 The Honourable emphasises that the child's feelings must be taken seriously and that children must be allowed to feel sad.
Life Svirsky, play psychologist and psychotherapist, receives children, adolescents, adults and couples at STHLM KBT in Stockholm.
She has several tips for babysitters to deal with the separation anxiety of the children you take care of:
- When you meet the child for the first time, familiarise yourself with the child so that he or she is comfortable with you as a babysitter.
- Brat up a plan with the parents so that the drop-off goes smoothly. For example, you can make a rule and decide to call a parent a while after the drop-off. Alternatively, you can decide to go into a room and play with the child for a while at drop-off. It is important that you as a babysitter do not feel that you are in the way and that what you do is something that the parents think is good.
- Avoid too long goodbyes with the child. A child will often be happy soon after the parent has left, so it may be a good idea to pull the plaster off quickly rather than have the child be sad for a long time.
- It is good if you can be quick to do an activity to change the child's mind. Don't deny worry, sadness or longing to the parents, but also say that the child can long and be sad and at the same time find something to do, maybe draw or play. You can find examples of simple activities here and here.
Liv the psychologist Svirsky also believes that it is the parents who should communicate about the fear, anxiety and separation anxiety with the child, and not you as the babysitter. As it is the parents who know the child best and know how they can react and be comforted, they must also inform you as a nanny. Cooperation and good dialogue are thus the key here.
- Not all children want to be comforted in the same way, so parents should tell them about this, for example," says Liv Svirsky.
As a babysitter, is it a good idea to read up on separation anxiety in children?
- Yes, it is not wrong to do so, but the childminder is not a therapist in this. You can read up on it so that you don't get worried yourself, but above all you should get information and advice from the parents.
Life Svirsky also says that separation anxiety usually grows out of its own accord in most children. However, should it be the case that the problem of separation anxiety comes toBack in a child at 7-10 yearsage, she advises them to seek psychological counselling.
One last tip: listen to Liv Svirsky's pod Child psychologists if you want to know more, the first section is about separation anxiety! Podiums touches on issues of child development and parenting.
Good luck with your baby takes care ofand don't forget that communication with parents is key!
Written by Elodie Pradet
As a nanny or parent, you can read more blog posts here
