There's something special about that first drop-off. The backpack is a little crooked, the name on the bottle is too big and your stomach is bubbling. For both child and adult. Preparing your child for the start of pre-school is not just about getting the right outerwear. It's about security, emotions and creating a context in which the child can grow. So - how do you actually do it?
Is it normal to feel anxious about starting pre-school?
And you know what? It's perfectly normal. Many parents describe it as a mixture of pride and worry. Pride that your child is starting a new phase of life, but also a lump in the throat at letting go - if only for a few hours a day.
Children often pick up on our emotions, even when we don't say anything. That's why it can be helpful to stop and think: how does this make me feel? Because when we are safe ourselves, it is easier to pass on that safety.
Tips on routines for starting preschool - small steps that make a difference
Routines are like the security framework of everyday life. They provide structure when something new is happening. And you don't have to make any big changes. Small steps go a long way:
- Morning exercise at home: Try to “play kindergarten”. Have breakfast at about the same time every day, brush your teeth together, pack a bag.
- Visit the preschool from a distance: Walk past, peek into the yard. See if the child dares to come closer, or just observe from a safe place.
- Adjusting rest times: Preschools often have fixed rest periods - try to approach them beforehand.
- Eating habits and curiosity: Try typical pre-school dishes at home. Not because the child has to like everything, but to create recognition.
It's not about training the child, but about making the environment less alien. Like little tasters of what's to come.
How to create confidence before starting pre-school
Safety is not just something we feel - it's something we build. Here are some simple ways:
- Send something from home: A small blanket, a cuddly toy, a card with a picture of the family.
- Creating recognition through books: Read children's books about preschool together. Preferably several times.
- Talk on the child's terms: Say things like “I wonder what you'll play with there?” or “Do you think they have a sandpit?” instead of “It will be fun, I promise!”
Children need to feel that all emotions can exist. That it is okay to both long and hesitate at the same time.
What can you do as a parent?
Here's the tricky bit. Not because it's complicated, but because it can feel unfamiliar:
You play a bigger role than you think - without having to do more.
- Be confident, but genuine: You don't have to act super enthusiastic. But show that you have confidence in the situation.
- Acknowledge feelings without resolving them directly: If the child gets sad, say e.g. “I can see it's hard now” instead of quickly changing the subject.
- Take it at the child's pace: Some children need several weeks to get used to it. It's not a failure, it's just different personalities.
And honestly - sometimes you need to breathe through your nose in the hallway before you leave. And that's okay.
When settling in doesn't go as planned - and why it's not a sign that something is wrong
It's a common trap: thinking that what feels tough is “a sign” that you've done something wrong. But children react differently - sometimes strongly, sometimes belatedly, sometimes not at all. All variations are normal.
- Day three is often tougher than day one. This is when the child starts to realise that this is real.
- Reactions may come from home: whingeing, tiredness, anger. It's often just a way to process the day.
- Educators have seen it before: Talk to them. They have tips, insights and experience you can draw on.
In short: if it feels difficult - you are far from alone.
It will be good - but it will take time
Starting pre-school is not a test. It is a process, a learning curve. For both children and adults. Some days go smoothly. Others don't. But every day builds something. Habits. Confidence. Self-esteem.
So pack that little rucksack. Put down that cuddly toy. Give an extra long hug if needed. And remind yourself:
You can do this.
Frequently asked questions about starting pre-school (FAQ)
How long does it take to get your child used to pre-school?
- It varies, but most children need between one and three weeks to feel safe. Some may take longer and that's fine.
How can I prepare my child for starting pre-school?
- By creating routines, talking about preschool in everyday life, reading books on the subject and making short visits to the preschool or its neighbourhood.
What should I do if my child cries at drop-off?
- Acknowledge the feeling, keep the drop-off short and let them know you will be back. The child usually stops crying shortly after you leave, but feel free to ask the teachers how it went.
How do I know if my child is not happy?
- Look at the big picture. Occasional tiredness or frustration is common, but if the child consistently shows anxiety or reluctance over a longer period of time, talk to the educators for support.
What can I do to make myself feel safer?
- Get to know the staff, ask questions, talk to other parents and give yourself space to feel what you feel. You don't have to be perfect - just present.
